So, who is Walter Thurman?

 

Disclaimer: a person “claiming” to be a “professional” wrote the following. He has since been dragged into the street and shot.

 

yOur Values: I’ve got a filling that’s worth a few bucks, is that what you mean?

 

Leadership experience: Please. My ribs are in pain because of the laughing...

 

Teamwork skills: There is no “I” in teamwork. You see? I can spell.

 

understanding of Customer Relations: I love customers. If you grill them with teriyaki sauce, they taste just like chicken.

 

Bio from his FBI file: Walter Thurman started WalterThurman.com back in 1973. Unfortunately, he never got off his butt long enough to actually make his presence known on the web until 2004.

 

He was born and raised in Redlands, California. His mother made sure we told you that. We don’t know why, so stop asking.

 

He attended the University of California, San Diego, where he double-majored in Sitting Around (BA) and Wasting His Parent’s Money (BS). He minored in History. He remembers very little of his college years, due to a tragic accident with oil-based house paint.

 

Mr. Thurman is a novelist, which means “he who drinks too much” in his native English. He has been married to his lovely wife, Michelle, for more years than he is capable of counting.  

 

He has completed many novels, including dead meat, unnatural selection, and the lion’s share. He hopes to have them ready for publication before Social Security goes bankrupt.

 

He received First Place in the 1,000-Word Fiction Contest at the 2007 Santa Barbara Writer’s Conference, and Honorable Mention in 2008. 

He lives with his wife and three daughters outside Tacoma, Washington, with their dog Daisy, a mongrel beast whose anger issues result in Mr. Thurman’s regular trips to the ER for rabies shots. He seems to enjoy them.